I had all of these images in my head with You in mind.
I suppose if I would have paid attention to the signs in the beginning I would have accepted things as they were as opposed to how I wanted to see them.
I had formulated all of these ideas about you, me, we & us.
Nothing I felt inside prepared me for the inevitable.
I remember how my heart would skip a beat whenever I heard your car door slam outside my window.
I had anticipated your arrival the night before, hours before your car pulled into my driveway.
Throughout the day I thought about how we would be spending the evening.
Listening to music.
Watching TV.
Cuddling on the sofa in silence.
Me massaging your neck and back with intensity and focus.
Me rubbing both of your feet to ease the tightness from the long day you spent standing and walking on them.
How I adored you.
You introduced me to pleasures I had long desired to experience.
Lying beside you at night were amongst the most tender moments we shared.
I loved immersing myself in pillow talk with you.
Remember when I asked you if Ringling Brothers was in town because I was their missing clown?
Remember how you reached for me and pulled me into your warmth, and how you consoled me, assured me that everything was going to be alright?
Then there was that song you dedicated to us by Algebra entitled "At This Time".
Looking back I know that it was your way of telling me that I needed to just enjoy the moments we were sharing at the time, but it was hard for me not to fall in love with you.
You were the right combination of sex appeal, sensuality, and strength.
Because I had found in you something that I had never found in anyone else I wanted to hold onto you as tightly as i could, and I prayed so hard that you would be the one that I would grow old with.
I asked God if he would make you see what was inside of me so that you would know just how much love I had to offer you.
Letting you go was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do, yet I knew that if I allowed things to continue without parameters then I would not be fulfilled in the relationship.
Towards the end I felt you rejecting my love and I know that it was because you didn't want me to love you as much as I did.
The person you were when I met you still existed, but you knew there was no way for you to embrace all we could have been when there was still someone else who had your heart.
I eventually understood that.
I knew that there was no way that I could compete with an unfinished past, therefore the only thing I could do was set you free.
Oh, I was hurt, confused, and angry afterward, but eventually I made peace with things.
I found solace in knowing that you knew how special you were to me, and I am grateful that you allowed me to walk away without trying to string me along.
You were a great lover in my life, and I will never forget you.
There are times when I find myself hoping that our paths would cross again.
That the next time around we'd both be ready to take the journey.
You see...
I am who I was that night when you met me...
I Am Love
Author, G. D. Grace Literary Links:
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Author G. D. Grace reserves all rights and reproduction without written permission is not permitted. If found, legal action will be taken against the person(s) or company(s) that have cut or pasted (Plagiarized) any portion of this written document. Author, G. D. Grace; Published © 2011 June
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